#i draw him shirtless so much and still get embarrassed wtf

[redcallisto]

Lovestruck

[fortheb0ys]

No I think the nickname puppy is so cute wtf 😭😭 I love it frfr, I love nicknames sooo much

I love that tho, I don't think that's embarrassing at all. My boyfriend and I make ocs for I favorite fandoms all the time. We have cod ocs, Minecraft ocs, dbd ocs, and even Supernatural ocs ✊😭 I'm so fucking autistic fr, and I got more than those ones

My cod oc and our Minecraft ocs were huge hyperfixations, we talked about them for months. I even have Pinterest boards dedicated to them

Two years ago for my birthday he actually drew my Minecraft oc and posted it on Instagram

Now that I'm looking at his page, a lot of it is oc art and lore for the both of us

(because I think he deserves way more love on his acct and art than he gets, so if you want to see his @ is bones_the_cannibal_ but you DID NOT hear that from me)

I straight up used to cosplay a lot, I was Ticci Toby for Halloween one year, and I was Virgil from Thomas Sanders personality things 🥲 and with how big the cod fandom is, I think cosplaying a cod oc is the least embarrassing thing you could do in this fandom (unless you're one of the weird straight guys that just want girls attention and are shirtless half the time)

I think unmasked Charlie was very silly (/pos) and I love him ✋ tbh, I didn't even really watch your videos in full, just skimmed a few here and there, enough to see your knife skills and lil Philly, so you don't have to be too embarrassed, I didn't see much

Very glad I got to see him 💪huge L to everyone who didn't

-🥭

I do love nicknames :3 They were gonna nickname me Mutt💀 which Puppy's definitely better in hindsight.

Awww making characters with your bf is sooo cute😭😭 People in relationships who share the same hobbies/interests aaaah its adorable🥺 You guys sound so cute😭 THE CHARACTERS, PININTEREST BOARD AND THE DRAWINGS?!? *kicking and screaming* IT'S SOOO ADORABLE🙏 I LOVE WHEN PPL ARE IN LOVE🥹

I'll be sure to look at his account🫢

My siblings and I always were into the whole character making for fandoms. My earliest memories were my brother going on about his Resident Evil characters so it's no surprise I became the same. Pretty much every fandom I'm into, I have a character for it too😂

I used to cosplay more but adult life kinda took that away. I wish I could do it more often. I just liked making things. Trying to get back into it but it's so expensive🥲

Honestly when I see those straight guys who do the weird phone thrusting vids make me feel sick and the way they're catering to these girls toxic fantasies. Like wtf💀 I've seen SO MANY vids where they're glorifying abuse and people eat that shit up!

The cosplay/cod community kinda freaked me out with all that shit. Like I wasn't even a big creator nor did I do any sexual content and people would still say crazy shit to me. Like nope I can't so this🙅‍♂️

I just did tiktok cause my friends pressured me and that I could share my cosplays with them.

Lol you were the lucky winner to see that side of me and my horrible knife skills😅 Got to see my autism in full swing.

[jinkicake]

Nice Hickey

Bokuto, Iwaizumi, and Tendou with a s/o who loves to leave hickeys on them.

Bokuto Koutarou x Reader

Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

Tendou Satori x Reader

Anon,,,, uhhh you know me..... I went feral writing this. Please, do not act surprised. Iwaizumi riles me up like no other, on gawd this man sends me into orbit. I can’t keep doing this with him,,,,, gggggggg. Anyway, ummm </3 ?

SMUT

WC- 1,825

~~~

Bokuto Koutarou

Bokuto loves to kiss you, especially on your neck. In his mind, neck kisses mean he is going to get his dick wet

To Bokuto whenever he kisses your neck it is like his own silent way of saying he wants to fuck you. Or make love,,, whatever your preference is…… I’m not really a make love kinda girl heheh 

With that being said….. Whenever you kiss along Bokuto’s neck or give him hickeys, he thinks he is going to get his dick wet. “Kisses leads to sex, does it not?”-Bokuto

Bokuto is SO BEEFY and THICK, omgggg could you imagine holding onto his broad shoulders while pulling on his thick hair as you suck on his neck

Leave Bokuto breathless, do not be afraid to mark him up…. Pretty boys like Bokuto deserve it

If someone points out his hickey Bokuto is like…. "What? What is a hickey??? Konoha, what are you talking about??"

Then the blonde rolls his eyes and pokes his finger into the bruise on Bokuto’s neck

Which makes the drama king yelp really loudly and hold his neck, covering any marks you left

I think Bokuto can get really shy and timid when someone talks about sex LMFAO stupid, I know but I feel like he’s just like oh,,,,, and gets really embarrassed

But then he will forget about it ten minutes later and play volleyball like it’s nobody’s business, all while Konoha is standing there like wtf…… just happened again?

“It’s a heart,” Bokuto sighs to himself as he looks in the mirror. He was changing out of his practice clothes to his school clothes so he can walk home when he noticed the mark on the left side of his ribs. “cute.” He finds himself muttering and starts wondering if he would be able to sneak into your house tonight.

Bokuto finds himself lucky.

A few hours later, after your family had gone to sleep, you’re sneaking Bokuto in through your front door.

“You have to be quiet.” You give him a pointed look and Bokuto nods, innocent radiating off of him, right before he walks into your door. “What did I tell you, Kou?!” You whisper-yell and Bokuto dips his head sheepishly. Instead of saying anything else you place your hands on his back and push him into your room. 

You continue to nudge him all the way to your bed, letting him fall onto your blankets and pillows. Even the simple touch of feeling his muscular back sent a kiss of heat down to your stomach. Eagerly, you climb on top of him and rest your thighs on either side of his hips. You flip your hair onto one side of your neck and stare down at Bokuto, your eyes flicker from his golden irises to his lips before a smirk appears on your face. 

In a very teasing manner, you lean down to ghost your lips over his own then you ignore him at the last second. Instead, you go to kiss his collarbone, you let your lips rest over his pulse along his neck before sucking on the skin. Bokuto immediately grabs your hips and pulls you flush against him, a moan flying past his lips before he can even stop it.

“What did I tell you?” You snap and Bokuto can only stare at your lips, nodding at whatever you’re saying. You sigh and roll your eyes before leaning down to his ear. “You need to be quiet Kou, can you do that for me?” At the very obedient nod you receive, you know he won’t be able to stay quiet. You’re still willing to risk it all though, just for him.

Iwaizumi Hajime

Please, I just thought about that fan art of Iwaizumi shirtless,,, gaaawwwd I need a minute 

I can’t get over the thought of being able to mark up THE Iwaizumi Hajime,,,, it’s making me acting up,,,, he’s so pretty and gorgeous and big,,,,,,, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh TTTTTTTTT and Iwaizumi would probably hold your hips as your lips work his skin and every time the pleasure gets too much he’d squeeze you in his hold,,,,,,,,, I know he would grind up into you too and buck his hips all while groaning so deliciously and omggg im literally panting-

Anyway, Iwaizumi is such a shy wittle baby.... You know he is rather private about his affairs,,,,,

He’d be so cute if you left hickeys on him, he’d turn so red and his blush would be so precious

I feel like he’d get embarrassed if his friends point out his hickeys, like if he got called out on it

Hanamaki and Oikawa would snicker in the corner of the locker room like the gossips they are, pointing and laughing at Iwaizumi

And of course, Iwaizumi is like “what the fuck do you guys want” and then Oikawa is like ��oh, allow me’

Then he’d point out his bestie’s hickey and make comments about Iwaizumi getting his ass handed to him by you

Of course, Hanamaki is in the corner in TEARS like the clown he is and Iwaizumi can neither confirm nor deny Oikawa’s statement

Then the locker room would go all quiet and that would just make Hanamaki wheeze even harder like baby boy needs a fucking inhaler

“H-Hajime,” You cry, drawing out his name as Iwaizumi continues to thrust into you. His biceps bulge as he pins you against his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist. Iwaizumi grunts and rests his forehead on your shoulder, pinching his eyes together in an attempt to focus on anything but the way you’re squeezing around him so tightly.

“Relax, baby girl.” He says and kisses your shoulder, his lips leave a trail of fire in their wake and you arch into him. Your chest rubs against his own and Iwaizumi bites his to tongue to hide the way he moans at the feeling of your soft breasts.

Iwaizumi Hajime is not delicate when you fucks you, he doesn’t know how to be delicate. He leaves too many marks and roughs you up to the brink of tears, but afterwards he is always so sweet with you that it could give you a toothache.

Something has Iwaizumi on the edge and you can’t figure it out. If only you knew it was because he saw the hickeys littering his hips when he was getting dressed for school yesterday. It fueled him with an insatiable need that only you can satisfy.

“Please, Hajime, more. I need more.” You beg and begin to lick his neck, your hot tongue makes Iwaizumi’s hips stutter slightly and causes a shiver to run up his spine.

“Oh, I can tell by the way you’re sucking me in. I can barely move.” Iwaizumi pants against your shoulder and you wiggle your hips at his words. It’s so hot, too fucking hot.

Iwaizumi wants to keep teasing you, wants to keep you begging just like this. He wants to see how much you will say and do, just how pretty you look when you are begging for his cock. With that thought in mind, he keeps thrusting into you but doesn’t notice the way his happy trail stimulates your clit. The little patch of hair makes you nearly sob and you bite down hard on Iwaizumi’s neck, no doubt leaving a mark.

“H-Hey!” Your boyfriend barks weakly and you continue to fall into a sloppy mess on his lap. “All this for my cock? Hmm?” Iwaizumi can’t help the pride swell in his chest at just how weak he makes you.

Tendou Satori

Tendou,,,, Satori the precious light of my life

This motherfucker….. the second your lips touch your neck he’s like ‘oh a b0ner!”

And then he tries to play it off like,,,,,, “Angel, I’m just happy to see you~~~”

Tendou loves when you leave hickeys on him, he adores being pampered in your affection and just lusts over the feeling of your hands running across his chest as you grind shamelessly into his lap

And yes, he loves when you leave marks like hello! A mf wants to show off,,,

He’d walk around practice and act like he has the biggest dick, not like anyone can see his hickey though because you teased him by only leaving a tiny barely visible mark just below his ear

Tendou loves to brag about you and talk about you and think about you, so whenever someone aka Semi calls him shameless….. Tendou is like “oh you mean THIS? This lovely hickey my s/o left for me because they love me so much?!”

And then Tendou would call Semi a virgin and walk away like won an all kill

We all know damn well Semi isn’t a virgin, next.

Even though Tendou loves when you give him hickeys, just know that the only thing he loves more is giving you some hickeys of your own~~

You moan softly against Tendou’s skin, sucking a bruise into his pale neck before pulling away. Tendou always looks so hot underneath you, maybe it’s the agitation twitching in his fingers from not being in charge or maybe it is the way his eyes darken like he won’t be able to hold back anymore. Whatever it is, all you know is that you love when Tendou is underneath you.

Tendou, however, doesn’t like it nearly as much as you do.

“No, it’s my turn.” Tendou growls and flips you over onto the bed. Just seconds before you were on top of him, grinding against him slowly as your lips teased his jawline. You kept nipping at any spot you saw fit, under his ear and above his collarbone, anywhere you knew got him weak. Tendou settles down between your legs, dipping his hips to thrust his clothed core over your own. He smirks when your head tilts back against the pillows and your chest arches into the air. 

“Mine.” He mutters as he claims the valley of your breasts. He pulls down the front of your shirt, no doubt stretching the neckline in order to mark you up as his own. Tendou wastes no time in lapping at your skin. His tongue licks a broad stripe up before latching his mouth onto the top of your right breast, he sucks on the skin and gently bites down with his teeth.

You bite the inside of your cheek, pinch your lips together, you do anything to keep your moans from slipping out. You’re still pissed at him for stopping your previous actions. Tendou glares up at you, his red irises pick up on your annoyed face and he sneaks his hand under your shirt to pinch your nipple in retaliation.

“S-Satori!” You gasp and lightly tap the back of his head, appalled at his bold actions.

“There we go,” He grunts and rolls his hips against yours once more, ripping a moan out from your throat. “ah, there we go.” Tendou hums in appreciation at the noises and heads right back to marking up your chest.

~

Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @lovellucy

[blancmange]

Okay so I went to see The Last Jedi and it wasn’t that bad???? Although I agree that wtf Laura Dern’s character? Wtf Leia? How about we have some transparency?

Also ughhhh “oh no, people see these REALLY GAY characters being REALLY GAY for each other, we have to add a woman out of nowhere so that they can be paired up heterosexually, the only right way” ughhhhhhhh and like they got an Asian woman, which is great! Can’t even say anything bad about that! But how about NOT PUSHING A ROMANTIC SUBPLOT

Wait shit how do I add a break on mobile

ALSO if anyone makes Reylo canon I will cut that bitch

Okay but I liked that Rey is apparently a no one, she came from nothing. I liked how ridiculously meta this and all the legend talk was. Like, how much less subtle can you get

That infinite Rey made me think for a moment that maybe she had NO parents! Like maybe she just CAME purely from midichlorians

But also like, yeah, sure, she is her “parents”. She is whatever she will make of herself. She doesn’t need anyone to show her what to do. She can damn well create a path for herself.

As for Kylo, oh no, you poor tortured soul, wah wah, let me play the world’s smallest violin for you. I mean I appreciate that he’s very conflicted and stuff, but like…he still makes wrong choices and kills people, so. Just uhh. Maybe try not killing people so much But I can see that he’s like, gone too far? Like he just doesn’t know what he would be supposed to do other than what he’s doing so he’s just gonna continue ‘cause that’s what he knows. And being in the Rebellion is HARD. They are losing most of the time. And it’s not exactly like he would be welcomed with glee. But the longer he keeps doing the bad stuff, the worse it will be for him if he does change his mind, so…you know, it’s hard to take that risk. And we could see he likes to be safe, what with that scene with Hux when he wakes up after that fight with the guards and Rey.

Oh, Hux. That wonderfully evil pleased with himself bastard. Poor fuck. He wants to be the best and then fuckin Kylo force chokes him. Poor dude.

But also it was hilarious when they were charging on the old base and Kylo’s like “do some battle stuff” and Hux immediately goes “do some battle stuff!” and Kylo’s just like…uhh okay Hux is the real boss! Stop being the boss Kyle T___T But then when Kylo was very murderous, like KILL EVERYONE NO MERCY Hux just looked at him like OOOOHHHHHHHH that’s so hot…I might just suck your dick for a change

But then Luke turns out to be a ghost and poor Kylo is standing there super embarrassed and Hux must’ve been like forget it. You fucking shit. Supreme leader. Of shit

Also wow that was a totally gratuitous shirtless shot and it was completely unnecessary??? Great, I love it I mean he looks really weird like, what are those? Are those muscles? Did you inflate your boobs? Are they fucking glistening like in some Peter Andre video But I love it that hey, we’re not objectifying a woman!

Anyway why is everyone talking about the cute bird-brrrpers with fur when there were those horsedogs SUPER CUTE and the crystal foxes! Oh my god they were so cute!

I wish I could draw well 'cause like Hux and Kylo are hilarious and I want to see them with ridiculous faces, seething with hatred at each other and furious about how much they want to fuck

[purpleshellsforyou]

Vegas (John Laurens W.U.M.)

TW.U.M. is an abbreviation of Waking Up Married. Read about this series here.  This one is as stereotypical as the tile suggests, but I had to write it.

John Laurens x Reader

Time: Modern (sorry)

Word Count: 1,920

TW: blatant swearing, alcohol, inebriation, smut implications, (somewhat) explicit descriptions of what could happen after sex, John being adorable

AN: I used a female reader for this. Please let me know if you would like a rewrite with different pronouns! I am more than happy to do so.

[John’s Messages]

{Alexander’s Messages}

Summary: Exactly what it sounds like from the title. John and Y/N wake up in a hotel room on Las Vegas without any memory of what happened the night before.

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The sound of the couple next door fucking woke Y/N up. The feeling of acidic vomit battling its way up her throat made her rush to the small bathroom, unable to stand up straight. She had no idea whose room this was, but Y/N didn’t have time to take in their surroundings before all she could focus on was emptying her stomach as quickly as possible, trying to relieve her nausea.

Breathing heavily, Y/N rested her head against the back edge of the porcelain seat, trying to use the cool material to dull their throbbing temples. Someone groaned from the bedroom that she had just run from, and Y/N turned her head to try and look out the door without getting up. The horrific hangover she currently had told her that she probably wouldn’t remember much of last night.

The person in the other room slowly got out of bed, his hair frizzy and unwilling to stay out of his eyes. He didn’t want to get out of bed, but the sound of vomiting nearby was echoing off the walls was only making his headache worse.

Y/N didn't realize that they were both shirtless until her boyfriend John appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, looking like he had been through hell. There were scratches up and down his chest and he was clearly as hungover as Y/N was. Looking down at her own chest, she wasn’t embarrassed to be shirtless in front of John. He had seen her without clothing before. What caused the embarrassment was the now dry white stain on her stomach.

Blushing, Y/N turned on the ivory sink in the bathroom and tried to wipe off the stain using a small hand cloth that the -what she assumed to be a hotel- had provided. John continued just stare at her as she gurgled a bit of water to try and get the taste of vomit from her mouth. Groaning and retching from the acidic taste, Y/N shrugged on a rough bathrobe that was hanging on the back of the door.

Blinking away the sleep in his eyes, John groaned, obviously dehydrated despite the large amount of liquid he had consumed the day before. Glancing at the slightly irritated and reddened skin on Y/N’s abdomen, he whispered a hoarse but sincere apology at the mess they had made. He grabbed a metal trash can and spit up what felt like pure stomach acid.

Y/N took the cloth still in her hand and folded it inside out before walking over to John and gently wiping the corner of his mouth. She expected some form of thanks or a smile, despite the situation, but all she saw was John staring at her hand, looking mortified. Noticing her finger, which was slightly out of focus, there was a crooked line in black permanent marker around her ring finger. To top it all off, it appeared as if someone had tried to draw the shape of a diamond on top of the line. She heard John mutter “Oh, fuck.” before he stumbled forward and caught himself against the sink before ultimately slipping on the tile. Sharpie marked his ring finger as well. His “ring” was far sloppier and wider than Y/N’s, as if the person drawing it on had been more drunk.

“What the hell happened to us?” was all she could manage to get out of her mouth. The words hung in the air. They both knew the gravity of the question, and that the longer it remained unanswered, the easier it was for both of them to avoid their rising suspicions and uneasiness.

John didn’t have to answer his uncertainty for Y/N to get the message. He went back into the bedroom and found his phone sitting on one of the bedside tables, it’s screen now cracked when it hadn't been the previous day. Unlocking it, he pulled up a contact that he knew would have been with them for the greater part of yesterday, Alexander.

[what the fick happened last night?]

[*fuck]

{Well, good morning to you too.}

{What do you remember, John? You and Y/N got pretty drunk}

[all I know is that she and I woke up naked together and now have marker-drawn rings on our fingers]

{Ah, I see. John, when a two adults love each other very much, they can find themselves attracted to one another in… special ways. Do you understand?}

[listen, dickaass; I would kill you through this screen but I’m far too hungover. it hurts to even look at this damn screen so cut the shit or I will tell Eliza alllll about the bedtime stories you read to Philip about “Thomas the Dickbag of Shitty Writing”]

{You wouldn’t dare, We both know you had just as much fun illustrating those books as I did writing them… Anyway, you may need to call Y/N “Mrs. Laurens” now. Unless she decides to keep her last name. I wouldn’t blame her.}

[WTF]

[WTFWTFWTF]

[why the hell did you let us get married! you’re supposed to be the responsible married one!]

{I didn’t think it was that big of an issue! You’ve been dating for a few years, and you practically already act married. Weren’t you going to propose soon anyways? You just skipped a step and saved a lot of money. Do you know how many people would kill to do that?}

John couldn’t help but beam over at his now wife laying on the bed next to him. She was absolutely the best thing that ever happened to him, but he didn’t want to marry her like this. How was he supposed to tell her?

“Um, Y/N…”

“We’re married, aren’t we?”

He sat there in shock for a moment at her lack of concern.

“Relax, I figured that’s what happened. It’s no big deal. We can just get an annulment and go about it that way. I get that neither one of us are ready right now.”

When Y/N got nothing in response, she couldn’t stop the pressure that was building in her chest. She didn't expect John to welcome this with open arms, but his terrified expression confirmed her thoughts that he didn’t want to marry her. She was never the kind of person to push for marriage in a relationship, but she had hope that deep down John’s feelings for were just as strong and secure as hers for him. She knew it was just a different title on a paper, but it felt like there was something finally settled about it. And now she was certain that he just wanted to take it all back.

There was a heavy knock at the door, and John moaned from the pain it caused his head. He shuffled over to the door and unlocked it to see Hercules standing with a huge grin on his face and his brown messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

“Rise and shine, sleepyheads!”

Y/N shot him the most annoyed look she could muster, which wasn’t much considering the situation.

“Alexander said that you two were finally awake, so I brought you all the necessities!”

Mulligan turned his messenger back upside down over the mattress and a variety of fruits, water, and Gatorade tumbled out. John tossed Y/N one of the drinks before taking a sip of his own. Hercules happily stood before the creaky bed, watching his friends thank him and send him appreciative glances. He reached for his back pocket, pulling out a slightly folded slip of paper.

“Now for the fun part… Here’s your Marriage Certificate. You have nine days now to submit it and make it legally binding, if you choose to.”

Getting little reaction as he placed it on the duvet cover, Hercules watched Y/N and John stare at the paper as if it were a bomb. He understood that they both needed time to understand what happened. It probably hadn’t even sunken in yet. Turning around, he grabbed his bag and began to walk towards the door when he heard a voice call to him.

“How did you get this?”  Y/N asked him. He knew that John was trying and failing to hide the smile growing on his face.

“John nearly spilled his drink on the paper and you freaked out on him for almost ruining it after the ceremony. You set it down before you almost spilled a drink on it yourself. Angelica was fast enough to grab it and give it to me for safe keeping before we helped you guys to your hotel room.”

John nodded, as if that was making sense with what little memory he had. Y/N whispered a “thank you” before Hercules saluted and bounded out the door, looking proud. She peered up at John, watching him stare in wonder at the certificate before meeting her gaze. He cleared his throat before asking “What do you want to do?”.

Y/N felt as if her lungs were closing in. Taking another sip of her water, she glanced at the bedding, suddenly finding the pattern entrancing. “I understand if you want to get rid of it.”

“What? Why would I want to do that?”

Her head snapped up, not expecting his answer.

“You seemed so upset at Alexander’s messages that I thought you would want to end the marriage. You seemed so scared and angry.”

Laurens burst out in laughter. He couldn’t help it, despite the now worsening headache.

“It was unexpected, but I could never be mad at the thought of marrying you! I was going to propose to you at dinner tomorrow, but this threw that off track a bit. I understand if you don’t want to send in the certificate, but maybe we can go around it. We could get married in my aunt’s back yard like we always talked about, and have a small ceremony for our family and close friends. Nobody needs to know that we kept the marriage. We can just have a formal party and pretend it happened then!”

His happiness was contagious. That was the only way to describe it. The excitement in the room was too much. “John Laurens, are you asking me what I think you are?”

He scrambled off the bed, rummaging around in his suitcase for a few minutes, cursing as he tried to feel his way around the contents. When he turned back around, now slightly more frazzled than before, he tripped and fell onto one knee.

“This is not at all how I expected this, holy shit. To say that we’ve been through a lot would be an understatement. You’ve helped me through my roughest times and supported me through the best of it. You were there whenever I need you and even when I didn’t realize that I did. I can’t imagine my life and future without you in it, and I would be the luckiest person alive to do so with you as my wife. Y/N L/N, will you marry me?”

“It would be my pleasure, John Laurens.”

John jumped on the bed, happily slipping a real engagement ring into her finger.

“John, honey, I love you to pieces, but please don’t hold me so tightly. It hurts.”

“Sorry!”

He cuddled into her side before dragging over a laptop from the nightstand and turning it on and lowering the sound and brightness.

“Do you wanna watch something?”

“Absolutely.”

Before they eventually fell asleep next to one another, Y/N sent her friend a single text.

[Hey, Peggy! Do you still plan weddings?]

[blurrybethny]

Diary entry #1

So hi since I don't really have a true best friend irl and I don't wanna bother my internet best friend with the same stuff every time, I thought I'd use my tumblr blog as a diary to let my thoughts out. I hope you don't mind. To make it easier for me to describe situations with people I'm just gonna call them by their first letter of their name. November 2016 I finally started getting closer to my friends. I finally started having fun. I was hanging out a lot with my guy friends. We even had a little road trip and it was honestly so much fun. It was a bit awkward for me because I've been friends with M and S for a longer time now, I've also known F for some time now but we never really talked much. So so I was a driver and when we drove back home we switched passengers and F drove with me this time. Honestly he talked so much about his dreams and his life and his feelings and I enjoyed listening to that a lot actually. He also told me about the tattoo he wanted. He wanted some kind of snake around his arm. So overall I really enjoyed this road trip and I started to like F. After that trip F was messaging me a bit about tattoos because I already have one. And I honestly don't know why but I decided I wanted to try and draw his tattoo so I actually did and it turned out pretty good. And I showed it to him and he liked it as well. December 2016 So F messaged me from time to time. On one weekend the prom for the 10th graders was happening (I'm a senior btw) and my friends wanted to go there but I was not sure if I would go too but F actually messaged me and said that it would be cool if I'd come as well. So I actually did and I was a driver so I drove with three of my guy friends to that prom. Overall we were a bigger group of friends with 3 other girls but they always kept running off and I stayed with the guys which I always do. However, most of them ran off from time to time as well and they always left me and F alone. The funny thing on this evening was though that F literally was by my side all the time, wherever I was going he was there. Whenever I was sitting somewhere he sat next to me, whenever we were standing outside he stood next to me and sometimes came even closer to me. Also btw he looked really good with a tucked in shirt and nice pants. I just thought I'd let you know. So we were about to leave and I had my car parked quite far away so F said to the others that they should join me so I wouldn't have to go alone to the car. After I got home he messaged me asking if I got home safe. So after that he literally messaged me everyday and I started developing a crush on him. However, it was pretty difficult for me to keep up a conversation with him because we barely have anything in common and I never knew what to say to him. So he decided he wanted to get his tattoo in a city an hour away. So he asked me if I wanted to join him when he drives there for the first time to make an appointment and then afterwards we could go to a restaurant or something. But my parents didn't let me. So I stayed home. I still regret it honestly I wish I would have gone anyways. I wanna know what would have happened. A day after I was hanging out with F, S and two other guy friends. F came really close to me like twice. And S said as a joke to him that in that prom this girl wanted to flirt with him because she probably has a crush on him. So what do I hear two days later? He went on a date with her. Like what the hell. He seemed so interested in me and then he goes on a date with that girl? I was so jealous and I thought they wouldn't work out anyways. But they went on another date and S (who is F's best friend btw) kept telling me about all the stuff F and the girl did like they slept together in a bed and massaged each other like wtf. I finally accepted that it was stupid to think that he would like but I still had a little crush on him. So there was this Christmas concert at my school where me and my friends decided to go. F was in a really bad mood the whole evening because the girl he liked didn't talk to him. And because of how stupid he is, the same evening he asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend like bro. But she said no and apparently F cried about it. I honestly laughed when I heard that. After that he was really crushed but he didn't wanna give up yet. But after like a week he kind of accepted it I guess. So S got a new tv and a big sofa so him F and S and me decided to have a movie marathon the whole night. Me the only girl with 3 their guys. Totally normal I know. So we watched movies all night and F kept falling asleep. But at one point we all started having a pillow fight and literally all of them hit me with the pillows and especially F kept grabbing my legs and arms (oh btw he was shirtless the whole time). By that time I still had a crush on him. Stupid I know. So two days after that another friend celebrated his birthday and New Year's Eve the same evening. I was hoping that it would be fun. Well. F was already getting drunk by like 10pm and honestly I drank quite a lot as well. One cocktail after the other. Then two girl friends on mine told me that S has a crush on me and honestly I kind of knew it but I was hoping that it wasn't true. That ruined my mood so much I swear. So after that one girl told me that F would talk to me about this. So I went outside and we were both already super drunk. So he told me that S has a crush on me and that he feels bad for him because he's his best friend and yea. We went back inside and I honestly kept drinking so much. I had like 4 shots and like 6 cocktails. And F even was like "oh I know why you're doing this" but honestly I didn't even know myself why I was doing this. So I kept getting more drunk and dizzy. Most of my friends already left only one girl and also a lot of classmates were left. So I sat next to guys I usually don't talk to hin school. L was sitting right next to me and his hand was on my thigh basically the whole time and I did not care at all. I even laid my head on his should the whole time. And then I just threw up out of nowhere. I threw up on myself. Isn't that fucking great. I'm still so embarrassed because of this. So K and L walked me outside and held me because I could barely walk on my own anymore. And I kept hugging L and K and then my dad finally picked me up and so that night ended at like 5am with me and my vomit all over my clothes and my dad laughing at me. I couldn't sleep all night because I felt so sick. January 2017 The next day I was still kinda sick. F messaged me again. We talked a bit and then in the evening he called me but I'm so awkward so I didn't pick up. Literally 2 minutes later the fucking door rings. I'm like "no way that's him". So I hear my dad opening the door and I hear Fs voice. I was so shocked I swear. So I ran downstairs to let him in and we went to my room. Like why did he do this. Why did he drive all this way to my house. Honestly I thought about this a few times. Like him in my room but not because of the reason he was actually there. So he asked me how I was feeling and he wanted to talk with me about S and yea. Then he left again. I think he wanted to hug me but I didn't get it so we didn't hug. So S didnt know that F and this other girl told me that he has a crush on me before. But then he did and he was so pissed at F and the girl that he wanted to cancel our trip to Croatia (which I fought so fucking hard for but that's another story). And I was pissed that he was being such a bitch about this. Then a few days later he calmed down again and they were friends again but then the girls was being a bitch. And our vacation was on the line. And she kept being stupid and giving stupid reasons about why she wouldn't be able to join us on the trip to Croatia. So finally we're only 5 people driving to Croatia however I'm the only girl with 4 guys. And I had a crush on one of the guys and the guys best friend has a crush on me so that's fun. Also me and S talked about the situation between us and he said that he still wants to be friends with me and I also wanted that. However he asked me why i would not give him a chance, if I liked somebody else, if I liked F. And I just had to deny it. If I said I liked F the real drama would have started. And I knew spending between me and F would never work out anyway so I just want to get over it. So since the drama from New Year's Eve I've actually been messaging with L (the thigh guy) and I started to like him a lot because he has really good music taste, doesn't look too bad, is interesting and talkative and just fun. Then like from one day to the other we've messaged literally all day and he even started talking to me in school in like every break. It was kind of awkward because I always sit with my friends in my breaks and S (the guy that has a crush on me) is there as well. So whenever L came up to me to talk to me I could literally feel his looks. So on Thursday F actually fucking messaged me asking what's going on between me and L. He even was like "does it not bother you that he flirts with other girls?" Like honestly what the hell. They act like I am not allowed to talk to anybody else. Like that's so unfair. February 2017 So on Friday I actually went out with L and went to the cinema. At the afternoon S asked me if i would drive to one of our friends to like hang out and i said that she didn't invite me and i didn't know about this (which is true). Then when I parked at the cinema I fucking saw S's car and B said hey to me. Like wow what kind of bad timing is that. So i said hi to L and we went into the cinema. And who the fuck do i see coming in? B went in saw me with L and went out. Like what the actual fuck. They stalked me. They have no fucking right to do that. I have the right to hang out with everybody anywhere and anytime I want. And then F even had the fucking nerve to ask me "what I'm doing tonight" I was just like "I'm pretty sure you already know". So me and L watched the movie. I was supposed to drive him home that night so we walked to my car. And he actually tried to kiss me (short backstory: I've never kissed anyone). But I rejected him and hugged him instead then he tried again and I just turned away and was like "it's okey". I was so anxious and uncomfortable and just confused. I didn't want that. Honestly I imagined it with him actually because I started to like him but at that moment I did not want that at all. So we sat in my car and I just wanted to get him out as fast as possible. And it was just awkward we barely said anything. Then I finally dropped him off at his house and I swear I'm so lucky that I did not crash because I was so emotionally unstable and it was raining so hard and yea. So I finally got home and L even messaged me again but I just went to sleep. The next day I just ignored him. Then in the evening I said I was sorry but it's not the right time. And since then we barely talked. Today in school I've been avoiding my "friends" because what they did on Friday was so fucking unfair. And I also avoided L. But he still messaged me everyday and said that he wants to be friends with me but it's difficult because apparently he kind of has feelings for me and that he'll just wait for them to go away. So that's the current situation right now. I'll give an update again soon xoxo